AIDS SHAMAN

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http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/shokti

Presenting my first book to the world… available now as ebook, print version coming…  my awakening to the spiritual realms began while sick with AIDS in the 1990s… Here is a collection of my poetry and prose to make you think about the role gay/queer people play in the human story, plus inspiration from queer ancestors, prophets and teachers.

Preview glimpse into the contents…..

HIV was the catalyst that led to my interest in spirituality: the threat of death led me to search for meaning in life. Given a positive diagnosis in 1990, by ’95 I was becoming symptomatic and was considered a PWA (Person With AIDS). I left my job, got my debts written off by telling the bank I was leaving the world, and turned my mind to the big question – why, I asked for the first time in my life, did I exist in the first place? I had held a firmly rational, materialist, atheistic view since the age of 12, but now, at 30, an understandably urgent need for spiritual answers arose in me. I plunged into a study of the worlds’ religions, into pagan magic and new age teachings, soon sensing a mystical core common to all. I began to open my mind and heart to the possibility of something more, to the possibility of a purpose behind our apparently random existence here on planet earth, to the idea of a beneficent divine presence giving rise to that existence.

 

All life’s crises hold an opportunity

nothing is ever only dark or light

HIV can awaken our spiritual sight.

Gays don’t like religion, thank goddess for that

we prefer to think for ourselves

and that’s where it’s at

we come out because we touch the truth inside

and that’s where we find our love and our pride

if we learn to listen to the soul, as we did as a child

all the answers we seek are there….

 

Calling to the Witch in every Queer

To the Priestess in every Lesbian

To the Shaman in every Gay barman

The Divine Mother in every Bear

The Abbot in every Faggot

The Deity in every Dyke

The Radical in every Faerie

It’s time for the QUEER PEOPLES OF PLANET EARTH TO COME HOME

 

,,,and the time must come
after all the parties
all the drugs
after the dying years
and a decade of decadence
the time comes, can only come
when the gay phoenix rises
after centuries of death
across the planet
the rainbow serpent
unicorn lion and bear
the return of the shamans
awakening everywhere…..

 

We’ve been hidden for so long in every race on earth

waiting for the globe to shrink so we can find each other

pathological said the shrinks

sinners said the church

we have to fight for equality

and in ourselves we have to search

for the answers to why we we’re here

for the secrets of being Queer.

This is the calling of the twenty first century queer: to learn to unite the sexual and the spiritual, and find the balancing, healing, role we play in the human family…. to remember, recover and renew our QUEER SPIRIT

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/shokti

 

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HIV points us to the heart of the matter

HIV points us to the heart of the matter

a virus calling us to heal in body, mind and soul.

Healing is Vital, even a virus plays a role

on our human journey to becoming whole.

who are we?  what do we want in our lives?

in what ways can we care for ourselves better?

hiv will make us ask these things

we might learn that our answers, our thinking affects how we feel

we might see that emotional well-being leads to physical health

we might see what is false and what is real

in our lives as we grope forwards in the darkness

not knowing if sickness lurks down the line

not knowing if we’re living on borrowed time

at the same time we’re liberated from fear of infection

bareback sex offers itself from every direction

chem fuelled party life that brings escape from the anguish

and a sense both of brotherhood and release

our unspoken truth that since we are infected and life may be short

we may as well live it to the high vibrational max

glory in our bodies, our shamanic rituals

and the joy we can give or take from each other

whether we are long term or momentary lovers.

It’s hard to be motivated to work for the system

or try to improve life on earth

when you don’t see the point any more

you’ve been told all your life your existence is abhorrent

perhaps you started to believe it?

Society would like us to take the pills and continue to feed the economic dream

but HIV wants to teach us that life is more than it seems

wants us to face our demons, heal our wounds and discover our potential

for the sake of those to come, our success is essential.

If we just take the pills and don’t take the healing journey

we are missing the light within the darkness

and the darkness will eventually swallow us up.

here’s the rub:

HIV is the middle name of GOD

SHIVA SHIVA SHIVA SHIVA

the dancer, the destroyer, the oneness sublime

calling calling to the people of earth

to find his divine presence INSIDE

All life’s crises hold an opportunity

nothing is ever only dark or light

HIV can awaken in us, our spiritual sight.

Gays don’t like religion, thanks goddess for that

we prefer to think for ourselves

and that’s where it’s at

we come out because we touch the truth inside

and that’s where we find our love and our pride

if we learn to listen to the soul, as we did as a child

all the answers we seek are there.

we are not just biology, chemistry, physics

we are mind, emotion and ecstatic spirit

we are air, water, earth and fire

HIV is not the end, it’s a stepladder to a life lived higher

drugs are a shortcut, or a signpost on the way

whether they become our master or we master them

we will have to move on from them one day

once we’ve opened our energy bodies through all that play

we come back to CONSCIOUSNESS as the only WAY.

We can break through all pain and fear

discover there’s so much more to being queer

we’re called gay because our souls were born happy

unconditional engagement with life lived from the heart

we brighten the world when we fulfil our art

of enchantment, love and play

HIV takes us to the heart of the matter

the heart of being gay.

shiva